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Archive-name: letterman/faq The alt.fan.letterman Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) list Last-modified: Sun Jan 22 12:49:21 CST 1995 Version: 9.09 Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) for the alt.fan.letterman Newsgroup From New York: Even our garbage is WORLD-CLASS garbage ... It's the FAQ LIST for David Letterman! with the A. F. of L. newsgroup ... and FAQ compiler Aaron Barnhart ... plus Paul Shaffer and the CBS Orchestra ... and now ... a man who broke his arm while NET surfing ... DAAAAAAVID LLLLLETTERMAN !! * * * Top Ten Questions Asked on the A. F. of L. Newsgroup. * * * 10. Where can I write to get free tickets to the Late Show? ANSWER: Send a postcard (no letters) with your name and address to Tickets Late Show with David Letterman Radio City Station P.O. Box 1212 New York, NY 10101-1212 Requests are limited to 2 tickets. The _Times_ says that "ordinarily, requests for specific dates cannot be accommodated." 9. Where can I find today's Top Ten List? ANSWER: You may retrieve today's Top Ten List by sending a finger command to barnhart@well.sf.ca.us OR, if finger isn't available, sending mail to infobot@infomania.com with this as the SUBJECT LINE ... finger barnhart@well.sf.ca.us 8. I understand there is a mailing list for the Top Tens. ANSWER: There is. To subscribe to the Top Ten List Server, please send mail to listserv@clark.net with this message only: SUBSCRIBE TOPTEN Your Name 7. Is it true that the publicist who represents Calvert DeForest and Mujibur & Sirajul is the same person? ANSWER: YES I AM. 6. Can I send e-mail to Dave? ANSWER: Not presently; the Late Show mailbox has been closed. 5. Whatever happened to that NBC campaign earlier this fall to portray Jay Leno as an up-and-coming battler whose eyes were firmly set on first place in the late night talk show wars? ANSWER: Maybe ... it's on hiatus? 4. Why did Dave select an old fart like Tom Snyder to follow him on CBS? ANSWER: Because ... the _Last Call_ gang are locked into their contracts? 3. Do Letterman's people read this newsgroup? Richard "Shecky" Scheckman, the show's longtime film coordinator, reads the group regularly. 2. Hey, speaking of _Last Call_ -- what the hell *is* that? Research has revealed that its core audience are third-shifters who use it to keep from falling asleep. In particular, Tad Low has been found more effective than frequent jabbings with an electrical prod. And the Number One Question Asked on the A. F. of L. Newsgroup: 1. Can I get me one of them graphic image things of Dave? I'm not sure what you're talking about, you sick demented loner. But there is an archive for Lettermania at ftp.mcs.net; complete details are at the end of this FAQ list. * * * Questions People Ask About David Michael Letterman. * * * Was Dave born to an actual American family? On April 12, 1947, to Joe and Dorothy Letterman. Dave's dad was a florist and had what Dave calls a "big personality. He was loud and liked to goof off and say funny things and do things to provoke you and get under your skin." By contrast, Dave's mom, as we have all witnessed, "is the least demonstrative person in the world." When Joe died 20 years ago, Dave said it was "the worst time in my life." Dave's mom was church secretary for many years at Second Presbyterian Church in Broad Ripple, Indiana, then a suburb of Indianapolis, which is where the Lettermans (including Dave's two sisters) grew up. * I understand that during his growing-up years, Dave was pretty much, and I'm quoting now, a "dork." Over 30 years ago, Dave worked during high school in the Atlas Super Market, an Indianapolis institution even then. Caroline Latham's book _The David Letterman Story_ shows Dave standing next to an enormous side of beef. It is fair to say that in the photo Dave looked "like a 16-year-old serial killer." In his own defense, Dave has said, "I think there's something wrong if high school is the greatest experience of your life." * Where did Dave attend college? Ball State University in Muncie, Indiana. He was a TV/Radio major with a minor in speech, and pledged Sigma Chi. Some of his frat brothers described Dave as very funny and self-confident. Dave has been generous with donations to the university and was largely responsible for the new Sigma Chi building at Ball State. In 1985 he endowed the David Letterman Scholarship there, an annual gift to a telecommunications major based solely on his or her creativity, *not* grades. * Is Dave married? Dave was married to his college sweetheart Michelle Cook, but they divorced in 1977. For several years he and Late Night head writer Merrill Markoe were engaged, but that fizzled and Merrill took off for California and a writing career. Dave is presently in a relationship with former Late Night staffer Regina Lasko, who is keeping a separate residence in Manhattan, Dave says, for privacy reasons. * I heard that Dave used to be a weatherman in Indianapolis. From 1969 to 1974, as an intern and later a full-timer, Dave worked for his hometown Channel 13 as booth announcer, host of a Saturday morning kids' show and of the late-late movie, and yes, as weatherman. Dave once reported that the city was being pelted with hail "the size of canned hams" and he also enthusiastically congratulated a tropical storm when it was upgraded to hurricane status. Viewers of the _Late Show_ were recently treated to some old weather-report footage brought by Diane Sawyer, and here's what Dave said on the old report: "Let's take a look at the cloud-cover photograph made earlier of the United States today and I think you'll see that once again we've fallen to the prey of political dirty dealings. And right now you can see what I'm talking about: the higher- ups have removed the border between Indiana and Ohio, making it one giant state! Personally, I'm against it." Didn't he have a radio show, too? For about a year following his t.v. job. It was at WNTS, back when it was all-talk. This gig did not go so well for him. "I was miscast because you have to have somebody who is fairly knowledgeable, fairly glib, possessing a natural interest in a number of topics," he later told an interviewer. "That certainly is not me. I don't care about politics. ... The Nixon-Watergate nonsense was the perfect example of something about which I knew nothing and couldn't have cared less." So Dave got bored and started making stuff up. According to Caroline Latham, one time "he told his listeners that their beloved 230-foot-tall Soldier's Monument ... had been sold to the island of Guam, whose government planned to paint it green in honor of their national vegetable, the asparagus." >>> It has been rumored that Dave got fired for his on-air remarks at Channel 13 or WNTS. In fact, the only place he ever got yanked from was Ball State's pathetic ten-watt all-classical campus radio station. * What else can you tell me about Dave's career in show bidness? As you may know, when Dave arrived in Hollywood in 1975 he found work as a comedy writer for Jimmie Walker and Paul Lynde, and as a player on Mary Tyler Moore's short-lived variety show. Because of his friendship with Allen Ludden (I am not kidding), Dave landed a guest-star spot on Dick Clark's _$10,000 Pyramid_ and Ludden's own _Liars' Club_ (as a "guest celebrity"). In his career, Dave has also played a Werner Erhard-alike in an episode of _Mork and Mindy,_ made several appearances in _Open All Night_ (a t.v. show which lasted the season between the morning and late-night shows), appeared in a murder mystery called _Fast Friends_ that starred Dick Shawn as a talk show host who drops dead and is replaced by Dave, made a cameo in _The Building_ (yet another short-lived t.v. show, which aired in 1993, starred Bonnie Hunt, and was co-produced by Dave), played himself on _The Larry Sanders Show_ (he "leaked" to Larry that the 12:35 show on CBS would be given to Tom Snyder, which in fact turned out to be true), and made a movie cameo in _Cabin Boy_ (1994), which starred Chris Elliott. * I wonder why Dave doesn't do more movies? In fact, Dave was under contract to Touchstone Pictures, but has since extricated himself from it. What happened was Michael Eisner, the chairman of Walt Disney Company, signed Letterman to *not* do movies for other companies. "Eisner's kid had gotten ol' Dad to wrangle some tickets when Dave was in L.A.," recalls Bill Jones, who saw Eisner interviewed by Bob Costas on _Later._ "Eisner ... got excited when he got there and saw the huge lines and movie-premiere atmosphere. He's thinking, this guy is like a movie star/rock star already. What could we do if we actually put him in the movies? Delighted to find the next day that Dave had no movie obligations, they contacted Dave's people. They were shocked to find that our TV Pal wanted no part of any movie deal. He was pretty sure he would suck, and told them so many times. ... Dave suggested they go look at his screen test for _Airplane!_ in the role eventually played by Robert Hays. After the contract was signed, they finally did, and Eisner said he turned white as a ghost -- Dave really was that bad." Eventually, as Bill Carter reports, the contract was terminated and Disney's money more or less cheerfully refunded. >> The name of Dave's movie production company? Cardboard Shoe. He also had a production company for his NBC morning show (1980) called Space Age Meats. * What the hell is this thing Dave's got for Tom Snyder? Dave was a big _Tomorrow_ fan and has claimed to have seen between 80 and 85 percent of the shows (Merrill Markoe, his live-in at the time, says Dave "revered" Tom). So although strictly speaking he is the man who displaced Snyder in 1982 -- but give credit to NBC for pairing Tom with the execrable Rona Barrett and turning the quiet chatfest into a noisy, garish variety show -- Letterman has always said publicly that Snyder ought to be on network television again. Bill Jones notes that Dave has proven he is a man of his word: "Much of the first ten Carson years of the Tonight Show were erased [1962-72, the New York years]. They were going to do same thing to the Tomorrow tapes after Snyder was gone, but they were stopped by -- David Letterman! One of the reasons that ... Tom described Dave as a true friend." * I've heard it said that had Dave gotten the _Tonight_ gig, he would've abandoned the _Late Night_ format entirely -- not just honed its rough edges like he did on CBS -- and done a show very much like Carson's. The writer and infomaven Mark Evanier, who knows Leno, Letterman and many of the people who work for them, says, "One of Dave's current writers even told me he was glad D.L. didn't get the gig because he thinks Dave would have dumped most of the staff, moved to Burbank and done something that more resembled a variety show." Yet it's hard not to draw the conclusion based on a year and a half of _Late Show_ broadcasts that Dave *did* make a significant change by switching networks and venues. He may not do a variety show but whatever that is he's doing ain't the old _Late Night._ Merv Griffin once said that all talk show hosts must freshen up their format every few years. He said he did it by switching networks and time slots, while Johnny Carson did it by firing his staff. If those are the primary choices, then it seems Dave has chosen to take the Merv road. * I have wondered if Dave was a recovering alcoholic. He had John Larroquette on the show one night, who is recovering, and talked about the days when he used to drink heavily. Unfortunately, Dave is just the kind of enigmatical, jealously private person that the media looove to speculate about. He is not forthcoming at all about his personal life in this or any other department. For the record, Dave used to drink a lot but gave it up not long into his _Late Night_ run. * Who was the woman who kept breaking into Dave's Connecticut home claiming to be "Mrs. Letterman"? Margaret Ray. And she still breaks in from time to time, according to Dave in his January 1994 _Playboy_ interview. He says he has tried to get her some psychiatric help, because the state has let her case "fall through the cracks." But for now, she's on the lam. Should I break into Dave's home? Oh, why not. Just be out of there by 10 p.m. when he comes home. Also, our friend Jen Laurie recently cruised by Dave's house (yes, she's still in college) and says that at the end of his driveway on this big tree is nailed a sign that says, "These premises protected by Security Attack Cats." * * * Questions People Ask About _Late Show with David Letterman_ (CBS, August 30, 1993- ) * * * Wait! I forgot to order tickets and I'm going to be in New York. Are there standby tix available? You may get standby tickets for the show each tapeday at the box office at the Ed Sullivan Theater. Standbys are distributed on a first-come-first-served basis, and are limited to one per person. Standbys do not guarantee admission. _You must be 16 or older to pick up a standby ticket and attend a taping._ (Taken from the CBS reply postcard to people requesting tickets.) B.J. Gleason says that people start lining up for these tix *early*, like 7 a.m. (Chris Lang says even *earlier,* regardless of the weather, and our pal Tucks agrees: "The one time I tried ... they only let in the first three. Those guys had been sleeping on cardboard in front of the doors since 3:00 in subfreezing temperatures. ... Now I know why part of the audience can be _real_ giddy sometimes.") The giveaway occurs at 12 noon. And Arthur Chin said he stood in line all morning for standby tickets, was issued a number at noon, then was told to take the afternoon off and report back to the theater at 5 p.m. * I've got tickets to the Big Show! When should I show up to get good seats? Any other tips? The tapings start at 5:30 p.m. Seating is on a first-come- first-served basis, and lines begin forming as early as 1 p.m. (Some attendees say come a little later, like about 2:30 or 3, to avoid getting seated right up front, where one's view can be obstructed by all the equipment.) >>> Wear layers of clothes in winter. Hell, wear layers of clothes in summer. The theater is freezing. (Dave likes it at 52 degrees F., or else, as he told Bruno Kirby, "the jokes begin to spoil.") Some former audience members endorse *not* getting advance tix but waiting in line for standbys instead, the advantages being you have a lot more control over what day(s) you see the show (provided the line isn't too long), and you'll probably get balcony seats, which feature unobstructed views. Standbys discussed above. But if you want any chance of getting on camera, swapping gifts for t-shirts, or participating in the fabulous prize giveaways, you need to show up early and get a front-row seat. * Remember every night in the early months of _Late Show_ when Dave would get a standing ovation? Whatever happened to that? Mercifully, the practice ended, headed off at the pass by Dave, who realized that the gaudy spectacle of a standing O had become an unwelcome addition to the new show. Nowadays, _Late Show_ writer Bill Scheft, when he comes out to do the nightly warmup, advises the crowd that "we have already used up our 10-year quota for standing ovations" and that if they want to stand up for Dave, they will have their opportunity to do so just *prior* to airtime. Sure enough, the host comes onstage at about 5:28 and gets a big ovation, gives out a canned ham or two, then runs backstage as Paul and the band strike up the theme song. Freshly purged of their standing-O, the audience behaves as it should for the performance intro. * How are the nightly Top Tens put together? Writer Jon Beckerman says: "Every day each (or almost each) writer turns in a few topics. Rob Burnett (Head Writer) pitches a few to Dave, who picks one. At about 2:30 or 3:00 we get the topic for the night's list, and everyone turns in a page of jokes (anywhere from, say, 5 to 20) by 3:45. Rob (selectively) pitches jokes to Dave and composes the list from jokes that Dave approves. As you can see, it's pretty last-minute." * Is there any specific reason why audience members have to be 16 or older? Each evening an audience member is chosen to drive Dave home. * What is the address for the Letterman show? Late Show with David Letterman Ed Sullivan Theater 1697 Broadway New York, NY 10019 Remember, there's a different address for tickets (see above). * Has anyone else noticed that the show seems to be running a little long? Perfectly normal. The show runs from 11:35:00 pm till 12:36:30 pm Eastern time. * The audience laughter sounds sort of canned. First of all, the theater is heavily miked. Second, there is a deliberate push by the production staff to give the show more energy, in part because that's the way Dave feels he's going to inherit the mantle of Johnny, in part because the Ed Sullivan Theater is so cavernous the show simply cannot accommodate the range of volume levels that were acceptable back at NBC's shoebox Studio 6A. Donz5 adds: "I remember that the closeness of the studio and the state-of-the-art sound caused deafness among half the audience. There were speakers UNDER the seats. (Which may explain Chris Elliott a little bit.)" * These days the show seems to have some pretty noticeable edits made to it on a regular basis. I don't remember the program being edited for time quite so much back at NBC. Maybe, although you may have been conditioned to think that way since, after all, a show in which the host is continually asking, "How are we doing on time?" which became something of a mantra back at _Late Night,_ must if nothing else be a show that runs on time, right? Ohhhh, guess again, Pepe. Our pal Mr. Donz5 provides this eyewitness account: "The first show I was lucky enough to attend was in 1984. There was a recurring shtick before each segment (or after, I forget which) where a model sang some insipid song. But the show ran too long, and every bit with the singer in it was taken out when it broadcast that night. Shows are routinely edited for that very reason: it went on too long." * Does the Microphone on Dave's Desk actually work, or is it just a prop? Yes, the microphone (an old RCA DX 77) does work, but is usually reserved for special occasions, such as when Dave is "playing along with the band" by hitting it with a pencil. The crew at NBC gave him the mic when he left. Dave's primary mic is the wireless "tie-clip" variety. (Thanks to Mark Weber for asking and Michael Delugg for answering.) * You know that billboard painted on the backdrop directly behind Dave when he does his monologue? Is the face on there that guy from the Church of the Subgenius? Chris Lang: "Yes, it's definitely J.R. (Bob) Dobbs, the Avatar of Slack hisself." * What time do they tape the show? From 5:30 to 6:30 pm, Eastern time. Says Dave, "Everything I do is designed to help me do the best job I can between 5:30 and 6:30." The thing is done live, as Dave has always felt the energy would drain out of the show were everything subject to retakes. * Why are there *two* guest chairs? Siskel and Ebert. * What kind of ratings is the big shoo getting versus Jay et al.? For the season, Dave averaged a 5.8 rating, Ted Koppel a 5.0, and Jay Leno 4.4. That is, 5.8% of all t.v. homes in America were watching Dave -- this despite the fact that at season's end some 10% of t.v. markets were making their viewers stay up later than the "live clearance" time (11:35 Eastern/Pacific, 10:35 Central/Mountain) to watch him. At season's outset on August 30, 1993, the non-live clearance figure was nearly three times that, so that for a good part of the season Dave was beating the competition, as Robert Morton put it, "with one hand tied behind our back." In fact, Dave has won EVERY week against Leno, virtually every night. Ironically, Jay seems stuck with an aging and less-sought-after audience, which was the knock against Johnny. Ted Koppel's _Nightline_ remains strong, and some weeks actually beats Dave's show, but doesn't actually "steal" viewers from him. Dave has essentially created his audience, ex nihilo, using his comic genius, a top-tier array of guests, and snappy Armani suits. >>> During the Winter Olympics, all CBS affiliates were obliged to carry the Late Show at the correct time. As a result, ratings averaged a blistering 8.8 for the two-week period, and the night of the Kerrigan-Harding skateoff Dave attracted nearly as large an audience as his opening night on CBS. * What are some of Dave's "Indiana-isms?" From Tim Veatch -- o ask...or as we say in Indiana...ax o Bush...or as we say in Indiana...Boosh o extra...or as we say in Indiana...extree o Illinois...or as we say in Indiana...Illinoiz o Italian...or as we say in Indiana...Eye-talian o mosquitos...or as we say in Indiana...skeeters o nuclear...or as we say in Indiana...nuc-u-lar o President Clinton...or as we say in Indiana...Pars'dent Clinton o pumpkin...or as we say in Indiana...punkin o show business...or as we say in Indiana...show bidness o similar...or as we say in Indiana...sim-u-lar o special...or as we say in Indiana...spay-shul o statistics...or as we say in Indiana...suh-tistics o veteran...or as we say in Indiana...vet'rin o Washington...or as we say in Indiana...Warshington o wolf...or as we say in Indiana...woof * The Late Show's home office is in Sioux City, Iowa. Has that town decided to start airing Dave's show? Yes. * I went to go see "Cabin Boy" and Dave Letterman had a cameo in the movie, but in the credits they announced that "Earl Hofert" played the part played by Dave. Who's Earl Hofert? Possibly an uncle on his mom's side. Every now and then you'll hear him use "Hofert" on the show. Also "Henderson." * I heard that the late Bill Hicks was censored once on Dave's show! They never showed his act, and replaced him with some lame in-house comedian. Well, it's true. On the night of October 1, 1993, comedian Hicks (who died in early '94 of pancreatic cancer) delivered a routine that, in post-production, was deemed inappropriate for broadcast. Although initially co-executive producer Robert Morton claimed CBS standards and practices had ordered the cut, CBS later countered that *Worldwide Pants* had cut Hicks -- the truth is probably that both offices agreed on the excision. In a subsequent piece in _The New Yorker,_ Hicks complained that Letterman's staff 86'd the routine because of attacks on pro-lifers that did not appeal to the show's "mainstream" audience, which Hicks clearly believed was a fiction. Angus MacDonald, who was in the audience that night, has a different interpretation of the events: "He did do a joke early in the same routine that could be taken as being anti-gay ... Basically, Hicks made fun of bigots ... [and was] impersonating a bigot -- 'Those people have gone too far. We've got to draw the line,' or words to that effect -- for a stretch of many seconds during which there was virtually no audience laughter, though one guy in our row yelled 'Yeah' in agreement to the excerpt above. Creepy. Because no one was laughing, Hicks had the worst of both worlds: controversial material that was not entertaining. The rest of his routine, as detailed in the New Yorker article and elsewhere, was well received. There was almost no reporting about the gay joke, though, and I think the silence it induced may have had as much to do with the excision as the attack on right-wing Christians." >>> A recent special on the life of Hicks airing on Comedy Central included interviews with Dave and Morty, both of whom expressed regrets about the incident. Dave said he felt even worse knowing that he won't be able to make it up to Bill now that he's gone. >>> Incidentally, the 10/1/93 broadcast is the only CBS broadcast to have featured Dave as the introductory voice-over, since Bill Wendell had gone home before the decision was made to nix Hicks. * What's the deal with Teri Garr? She looked *terrible* since she started appearing on _Late Show._ I heard she has MS. Well, as Mark Samwick observed from watching her in the twice- crossed CBS sitcom _Good Advice,_ "Her entire right side is extremely stiff, her movements quite awkward, and she has a definite limp. The camera shots try to disguise it a bit, but it's definitely noticable." But she has gone on the record denying that she has MS. Just a degenerative back condition -- spurs -- that she's slowly rehabilitating from. * Who are the the members of the "CBS Orchestra?" o Paul Shaffer, leader/keyboards o Anton Fig, drums o Will Lee, bass guitar o Sid McGinnis, guitar o Felicia Collins, guitar o Bruce Kapler and Tom "Bones" Malone, horns The first four players comprised The World's Most Dangerous Band when Dave was on NBC. There was talk that the network might litigate to keep certain items of _Late Night_'s "intellectual property," including the band name, so the boys came up with the classier (and somewhat in-your-face) "CBS Orchestra." What happened to funkmeister Bernie Worrell? He left. It didn't work out. Anyway, you'll agree the band sounds much better with a horn section, no? * Heyyy, knock me out with some of those great musical intros Paul and the band have done over the years for Dave's guests. Here are just a few. As Jon Pareles noted in the _Times,_ "[the] CBS Orchestra seems to be prepared for an inordinate number of songs ... it will try nearly anything." Such as: o Prince's "I Want To Be Your Lover" for Kim Basinger o "White Lines" by Grandmaster Flash/Melle Mel for Cokie Roberts (thanks Malinda McCall) o "Everytime You Go Away (You Take A Piece of Me With You)" by Paul Young following "Top Ten Things Overheard at the Lorena Bobbitt Trial" o "I Am the Walrus" by the Fabs for Mike Wallace o "Faith" by George Michael for Faith Ford o "If" by Bread during Dave's throw-Wonder-Bread-at-the- audience sequence o "Turn, Turn, Turn" by the Byrds for Laura Dern o "A Day in the [Dana] Life" for Dana Carvey o "Thank You Falettinme Be Myself (Again)" by Sly & Family Stone, as one of Dave's staff and his grade-school gym teacher were re-enacting a groin rejuvenation exercise o A Sam & Dave tune, when Sam (Donaldson) was on with Dave o "Cocaine" by Eric Clapton following a Top Ten list on the space shuttle Columbia o "Raindrops Keep Fallin' on My Head" by B.J. Thomas for Jay Thomas o "Walk This Way" by Aerosmith for "Top Ten Things Aeroflot Can Do To Improve Its Image" o "It's Raining Men" (written by Paul Shaffer!) for Damon Wayans (who used it for his "Blaine and Antoine" routines) o "Joy to the World" by Three Dog Night for Jeremy Irons o The theme from "Three's Company" for "Top Ten Good Things About Marrying Tom and Roseanne" o "Shipoopi," from _The Music Man_ for "Top Ten Ways To Mispronounce Jeff Gillooly" o "I Don't Know How to Love Him," as sung by the Mary Magdelene character in _Jesus Christ Superstar,_ for Mary Matalin (Joe LaRose) o And this prize from viewer Wayne Snell: "'Groovin' by the Young Rascals for CBS newsperson Lesley Stahl (and I believe also one time for actor Leslie Nielsen). The explanation: when 'Groovin' was hot on the radio in the '60s, there was a controversy that one section of the song, 'Life would be ecstasy/For you and me endlessly', was actually 'Life would be ecstasy/For you and me and Leslie'!" * I know that Paul is from Canada, but where? Thunder Bay, Ontario. He was born there November 28, 1949. * Who produces and directs LSWDL? Executive Producer -- Peter Lassally (a Carson associate) Co-Executive Producer -- Robert Morton (aka "Marty Robbins") before Morty ... Jack Rollins (and for a while, Dave was co-EP) Producer -- Jude Brennan before Jude ... Barry Sand (also produced _SCTV_) Supervising Producer/Director -- Hal Gurnee Head Writer -- Rob Burnett before Rob ... Steve O'Donnell before Steve ... James Downey before James ... Merrill Markoe (the original head writer) Notable Ex-writer ... Chris Elliott Notable Ex-writer ... Joe Toplyn (now supervises writers at the _Tonight_ show) Notable Ex-writer ... Fred Graver (now producer and head writer of _The Jon Stewart Show_) Notable Ex-Visuals Coordinator ... Edd Hall (now the _Tonight_ show announcer on NBC and brother of Stupid Pet Tricks coordinator Susan Hall Sheehan) * Boy, CBS sure pays Dave a lot of money. Granted. However, given that CBS has sold out in 1994-95 advertising at upwards of $60,000 per spot -- *four times* what its old late-night programming could command -- Dave is a bargain. Or rather, he's a gamble that paid off. Also, take a look at what other companies were willing to pay to get Dave. According to the writer Bill Carter, Viacom would have dished out $50 million per year, given Worldwide Pants a huge show budget, and made Dave the focal property, including possible special projects for Viacom-owned cable networks (MTV and VH1). But Dave wanted to be on network t.v. and so no offers besides the Big Three's were ever seriously considered. * Is the Late Show closed-captioned? It is. Scott Barvian says, "They obviously do the captioning after the final edits are done; all the spelling is correct and nothing is missed. They catch all of Paul's little comments that [we] don't always pick up ... they even spelled out Dave screaming in terror after picking up a hot towel (OHHHH! AHHHH! JEEEZ!)." Jeff Zuk adds that sometimes the closed captioning will even tell you what song the band is playing. * Gosh, I'm young and stupid. Wouldn't it be great to intern at the Late Show? There's a book that rates a Letterman gig as among the top 100 internships to have. But as it cautions, that doesn't mean an absence of donkey work. "Several interns reported having to fetch lunch for Dave ('every day it was the same pasta primavera and vegetable soup') or whip up a snack ('Dave always had to have his fresh pineapple -- cut in strips, not squares')." Still, you could touch fame, like the Talent intern who wound up finding wacky cooking lady Bev Tanner. Or, you might be asked to call aspiring novelty guests and tell them sorry. "On hearing the news, they would sometimes become angry or crestfallen because 'where else can a person show off his potato chip collection to eight million people?'" Don't expect much quality time with Dave, no matter what: he is "cordial" when you encounter him, but "aloof." * Is there some way to find out in advance what reruns of Late Night are showing on the E! entertainment television network? Call (213) 954-2750. Press 1 to hear the Late Night schedule for the week (changes every Monday). The reruns are aired "seven Daves a week" at 10 p.m. Eastern time. Or, check each week's issue of LATE SHOW NEWS (see the end of this FAQ). In fact, that's the course we recommend, because some weeks E! doesn't even bother to update the hotline -- and wouldn't you really rather learn that on someone else's nickel? * Let's say I want to be a guest on the show -- what should I do? Directly from Dave himself: "I don't care who you are, I don't care what you do. If you have four funny stories, you can be a guest on this show. That's what we're looking for." * I've often wondered why Dave doesn't have guest hosts on his show the way Johnny Carson always did. Look where it got Carson. * * * Questions People Ask About _Late Night with David Letterman_ (NBC, Feb. 1, 1982-June 22, 1993) [Sorry, I'm no longer accepting submissions for this area.] * * * What are the different cities where Dave's "home office" was located during Late Night? o Lebanon, Pennsylvania o Lincoln, Nebraska o Milwaukee (the first Late Night home office) o Oklahoma City, Oklahoma o Omaha (home of Arnie Barnes, who called in his own Top Ten lists) o Oneonta, New York (the last Late Night home office) o Scottsdale, Arizona o Tahlequah, Oklahoma * What are the different types of "cams" that were used on Late Night? o Amphi-cam (8th anniversary show at Universal Amphitheatre) o Chair-cam o Cow-cam o Crash-cam o Fig-cam (worn by Anton) o Guest-cam (worn by Tom Hanks) o Host-cam (worn by Dave, of course) o Las Vegas Showgirl-Cam (from Dave's 1987 shows there) o Love-cam (Bill Murray) o Monkey-cam o Sewer-cam o Sky-cam o Thrill-cam o Thrill-cam 360 o Tiger-cam * What types of gifts did Dave give to audience members on his old show? o Bacon o Bagels o Baked ham o Beef o Bug Busters o Tom Brokaw stationery o Cartons of cigarettes (handed out by Larry during a remote) o Collapsible drinking cups o Composters o Edible plunger o Fajitas o French fries o Frozen turkeys o Gallon jars of mayonnaise o Goodwill Games medals (given to audience members who asked questions of Larry "Bud" Hussein) o Handfuls of nickels from a big bucket o Handfuls of watches from a fish bowl o Hot towels (by Larry during a remote) o Jumper cables o Kentucky Fried Millipedes (actually a bucket of fried clams) o Kielbasa o Large squares of sod o Late Night with David Letterman facial blotters (if you were an *especially* good little audience member, Dave would use it first) o One volume of an encyclopedia set o Packs of assorted GE light bulbs o Pounds of hair o Randomly selected prescription eyeglasses (by Larry) o Roll of garden hose o Selections of fluorescent lighting o Six dollars o Sponges o Tee-shirts (Larry: "Bob Rooney, please give that nice lady/gentleman two Late Night t-shirts") o Tires o Toast o Toast on a stick o _Today_ show coffee mugs o Waffles No, I will *not* attempt to list all the giveaways since Dave moved to CBS and transformed the Ed Sullivan Theater into "The Price is Right." * What were the films in LNWDL's Holiday Film Festivals? (1985) o "With My Own Eyes," by David Letterman o "But I'm Happy," by Michael Keaton (with Clint Howard) o A film on PMS, by Catherine O'Hara and Andrea Martin o "Dress Cool," music video by Paul and the band o "Why Bother?" by Bette Midler o Industrial video spoof, by Harry Shearer, Christopher Guest, and Michael McKean From the "2nd Annual Holiday Film Festival" (1986): o "Feelin' in Love," David Letterman o "The Iceman Hummeth," Michael J. Fox o "An Audience of My Own," Diane Sawyer o "My Day With the Stars," Jonathan Winters o "You Kill Me" (music video), Paul Shaffer w/Teri Garr o "Chris Elliott: A Television Miracle," w/George Takei (aka Mr. Sulu from "Star Trek") * What are the different types of "suits" Dave has worn? o Suit of Alka-Seltzer o Suit of Lard (worn by someone other than Dave) o Suit of Magnets o Suit of Marshmallows (they tried to light the marshmallows with propane torches but failed; eaten by audience) o Suit of Nachos (eaten by members of the audience after Dave was dunked in cheese) o Suit of Rice Krispies (milk poured on Dave) o Suit of Sponge (they weighed Dave, dunked him in water, then weighed him again, but it was off the scale) o Suit of Suet (Dave went into a cage of birds) o Suit of Teabags (no, wait, that was Steve Allen) o Suit of Vegemite (tm) o Suit of Vegetables o Suit of Velcro (Dave wore the soft part, then he jumped onto a wall covered with the other part, and stuck) * When Chris Elliott was still writing for Late Night, what were some of the characters he played? o Marlon Brando o The Guy Under the Seats o Marv Albert o Jay Leno (with large fake chin) o Letterman imitation-- "Late Night with Chris Elliott" o The Fugitive Guy o The Nervous Guy o The Regulator Guy o Chris Elliott, Jr. (Morton Downey, Jr. take-off w/ lots o' moles) o The Panicky Guy o The Conspiracy Guy o Gerard Mulligan's baby boy, "Kevin" (complete w/ diaper) o Jack Hanna of the Columbus Zoo o Walter Murphy, "the man with the miracle mind" who had memorized all the animals portrayed in that memorable NBC fantasy-adventure series, "Manimal" (as this was early in his career, Chris actually did a Harvey Korman trying to suppress the giggles) o Singularly unhelpful Radio City Music Hall custodian (Anniversary show; thanks to Jim Lyden) * What is Larry "Bud" Melman's real name? Calvert DeForest. And in fact, for intellectual property reasons, Dave is calling "Larry" Calvert on the new show. * Who all have been the means of delivery of Cokes, etc., from the vending machines? (Late Night) o The Rockettes (and now on the Late Show as well) o Members of the NYC area chapter of Mensa o Carl Lewis o Boy Scouts o Marching Band o Andy Grayson, trail bike rider, rode down the stairs and jumped up on Dave's desk (w/the bike) without touching a foot. * How has Dave paid tribute to his erstwhile telephone companion, the lovely auburn-haired book publicist Meg Parsont? o Sent the "Three Amigos" to serenade her with Mexican rest- aurant music o Sent Billy Dee Williams over with a bouquet of roses, a matching his-and-her set of his designer fragrances, and a six-pack of Colt 45 malt liquor o Closed off 49th Street so the Jamestown High School Red Raiders marching band could parade below her window playing "Happy Birthday" and spelling out M-E-G in formation * I know Bill Murray was the first scheduled guest on both Late Night in 1982 and the Late Show in 1993. Although recently, Dave told Tom Brokaw that *he* (Tom) was "the first guest on our new show" (when Tom came out to reclaim certain cue cards as "the intellectual property of NBC"). Right. But back to Bill Murray in '82 -- what was *that*? According to Dave, "Bill wanted to do something special, so he was coming down early to talk to the writers and see what they could come up with together. When he arrived, Merrill and I were out filming a segment, and Bill showed up with about six gallons of whatever tequila was on sale. When we got back, everybody was shitfaced, and it was dark, since Bill had decided the flourescent lights were leeching Vitamin E from them and he'd hidden all the lamps. Nothing was written, and the only explanation I could get from anyone was, 'Bill was here.' When we did get on the air, Bill decided not to do any of the stuff we'd written and got an urge to sing 'Let's Get Physical' and do aerobics. So he did." >>> As a tribute to that historical debut, Paul and the band played "Physical" for Bill's intro on the first Late Show. * The wife and I were up last night watching Dave, and we got to talking about the old show and that wild-eyed longhair freak who tried to kick Dave in the chops. Remember that? Yes, it's remembered for us about every three weeks, on average, on the alt.fan.letterman newsgroup. For that reason we have provided for the general public an annotated transcript of that episode, from July of 1987, featuring guest Crispin Glover, on the Letterman archive at ftp.mcs.net (see the end of this FAQ for info). Thanks to Mark Schweingruber for the effort. * Say, is it true that Cindy Crawford was once bumped from _Late Night_ so that Dave could yammer with a guy named Herb Clumpy the Third? Mm hmm. By the way, the name's spelled Klumpe, not "Clumpy," and he has become one of the regulars on the old A. F. of L. newsgroup. Herb, who hails from Oneonta, New York, site of the very last home office of _Late Night,_ was in the audience for one of Dave's last NBC broadcasts on June 17 '93, wearing a sweatshirt emblazoned with the letters ONEONTA. Dave was notified before the show that a guy from the home office with a delightful name was in the crowd, so upon entering the studio he opened that evening's show with the line, "Tonight's program is dedicated to Herb Klumpe III." Not only did the monologue go out the window, but Herb and Dave chatted on-air after the break and they exchanged sweatshirts as the alluring Miss Crawford looked on forlornly from the green room. It turns out that Herb and four of his enterprising friends also held tickets for the very last _Late Night_ so, to commemorate his good fortune, Herb's friends showed up wearing "Friend of Herb Klumpe III" T-shirts. NBC staff spotted Mr. Klumpe and escorted him to the green room, where he got to watch the final show with a gaggle of extree special guests that included Tom Hanks and his wife. He is living proof that Dave Letterman, much like _Late Night_'s revered final guest Bruce Springsteen, can both entertain the masses and brighten the lives of ordinary fans -- and in so doing touch the lives of each one of us who watches his show. [*dab corners of eyes with blue index card*] * Does Sid have a "running jones"? Yes indeed. A full account is given in a _Runner's World_ feature on the longtime Letterman guitarist, who joined Late Night in 1984. "Nike, upon learning that its Sock Racers [running shoes] were showcased on Late Night ... supplied McGinnis with as many pairs as he needed." Now that the shoe is out of stock, "Nike has fashioned close facsimiles ... custom-made Air Sids. 'There are five million pairs of Air Jordans,' McGinnis estimates, 'and two Air Sids.'" The story also reports that at age 40, Sid ran the 1989 New York Marathon in 3:14:44. Has Sid *ever* missed a show? Twice, says Donz5. "On the March 3, 1989 show, Paul praises Sid for having missed only 2 shows. I checked, and, sure enough, Sid missed show #679 (March 13, 1986) and #683 (March 20, 1986), both shows subbed by Steve Kahn." These were during the time Sid's wife was giving birth to their first child. * Other than Paul, Anton, Will, and Sid, who were members of "the band," later titled "The World's Most Dangerous Band" on Late Night? Hiram Bullock was the original guitarist and Steve Jordan the original drummer. Over the years there were also these occasional honorary members: Francisco Centano, bass Neil Jason, bass Marcus Miller, bass Buzz Feiten, guitar Steven Khan, guitar Jeff Lee, guitar Elliott Randall, guitar John Tropea, guitar (it's true, Donz5 confirms it!) Waddy Wachtel, guitar Kenny Aronoff, drums Charlie Drayton, drums Steve Ferrone, drums Steve Gadd, drums Omar Hakim, drums Allan Schwartzberg, drums Rob Mounsey, keyboard Leon Pendarvis, keyboards Bette Sussman, keyboard And Donz5 reminded me not to overlook frequent Thursday (later Friday) guest band member David Sanborn on saxophone. * What's "the GE corporate handshake"? In 1986, shortly after General Electric announced its acquisition of NBC, Dave went with a camera crew and a fruit basket and/or bottle of wine/champagne to the corporate headquarters in Manhattan as a gift to GE Chairman Jack Welch. In one of the most-talked-about moments in Late Night history, Dave and his crew were met in the lobby by a security thug who told them to shut off the camera and get out of the building. Being the polite Midwesterner he is, Dave extended his hand to the security guy, who in turn extended his hand ... then *retracted* it without consummating the grip and release. This sleight of hand is what became known as the GE corporate handshake. (The security guy repeated this handshake moments later with Hal Gurnee, who was accompanying Dave on the shoot.) The event is now remembered as the turning point in Dave's relationship with the network and its GE-appointed brass, notably the weasels in Burbank who thought that Dave was too "mean" for the Johnny Carson slot. * I can't believe NBC just let Dave go because they didn't like his personality. As Bill Carter reports, one senior NBC executive was heard to say after the Letterman-Leno debacle, "It was amazing to have made that many mistakes in a row." But perhaps the biggest mistake was the network's failure to chisel out a long-range strategy for late night, which ideally would have been to coax Johnny out of his job (a task eventually taken up by Helen Kushnick, Jay Leno's longtime handler), offer Dave the 11:35 show, and tossed Leno, who might well have landed on his feet bringing new fame to CBS, where his current 4.4 rating would have realized millions in new revenue for the then-doormat of late night television. Instead, Jay got a clause inserted in his contract that made him the next _Tonight_ host; Johnny got wind of it and quit; and Dave was left in the dust. If there is a wildcard in this, it is possibly John Agoglia, the president of NBC Productions and its "no man" in matters relating to talent relations. It is true that Letterman made life difficult for Agoglia, but the latter's weasely actions were inappropriate even for a grouchy talent like Dave. After all, here is a man who (a) threatened to bring Maury Povich's show into Studio 6A every day if Dave didn't cooperate with the network's stupid "Sunday Best" program, (b) bragged that he had Dana Carvey locked in as Dave's 12:35 replacement, a flat lie, and (c) even when instructed by his boss Robert Wright to negotiate a plan to give _Tonight_ to Letterman, would not put anything in writing. However mean Dave was to Agoglia on his show, the NBC man returned it with interest later on. The oft-heard complaint that Dave was not cooperative with the suits reminds us of the mess the Reverend Martin Luther King got into because he wouldn't return the phone calls of an undercover FBI agent who was trying to reach him. Infuriated, the G-man went to his boss Hoover and reported King as a troublemaker, and we know the rest. Only thing is King, like Letterman, simply didn't return calls from anyone except his closest advisors. * What's all this about an Australian version of Late Night? There used to be a self-admitted knockoff of Dave's show, "Tonight Live," hosted by Steve Vizard. It was cancelled in late 1993 and replaced by the first Australian broadcast of the Letterman show. >>> And Don Maple writes from Germany to report this Deutscheplunderwerk: "Started a couple of months ago. The show is called _Nacht-Show_ hosted by a creature called Thomas Koschwitz. A shameless rip-off with almost identical intro, identical desk, (attempted) identical host behaviour, repartee with the band leader, top 10 lists, etc." * What was the translation of the Japanese on the kites in the Late Night opening sequence (1992-93)? One said "Late Night," another, "G.E. sucks." Then, when NBC announced they'd signed Jay Leno as Johnny Carson's successor on "Tonight," a third Japanese kite appeared: "Jay sucks." * * * About this FAQ List, the A. F. of L. Archive, and LATE SHOW NEWS. * * * Where can I find this FAQ when I need it (i.e., later)? It will be posted here and to news.answers twice a month, on the 6th and 20th. The list is also available via anonymous FTP from ftp.mcs.net in the file /mcsnet.users/barnhart/letterman/alt.fan.letterman.faq.txt and is also available via anonymous FTP from rtfm.mit.edu in the directories /pub/usenet/alt.fan.letterman OR /pub/usenet/news.answers/letterman The FAQ is also via mail server. Send mail to mail-server@rtfm.mit.edu with the following line in the body: send usenet/news.answers/letterman/faq * How can I contribute to the FAQ? Send your submissions, questions, and comments to: letterman@mcs.net * Is the alt.fan.letterman newsgroup available as a mailing list? No. * Does this newsgroup have an archive? The FTP directory ftp.mcs.net:/mcsnet.users/barnhart/letterman is brimming with text files, images, sounds, and Top Ten Lists. Also, check out these World Wide Web clients if you've got WWW-compatible software: http://bingen.cs.csbsju.edu/letterman.html http://www.cen.uiuc.edu/~jl8287/letterman.html * I crave that late-breaking news about all the big stars, and what bigger star is there than Dave Letterman? Look no further, Sparky, because your FAQkeeper has taken that matter into his own hands. LATE SHOW NEWS supplies you with up-to-the-moment info from the late-night talk circuit generally, and especially Dave's show. It will be posted to alt.fan.letterman, rec.arts.tv, alt.zines, and alt.tv.talkshows.late every Tuesday. You also may subscribe to the LATE-SHOW-NEWS mailing list to get each issue mailed directly to you. Write listproc@echonyc.com and send only the following as your message: subscribe late-show-news Your Name * * * Sources for this Frequently Asked Questions list. * * * Beautiful People. Well, of course, kudos to D. Keith Rice for maintaining the list since way back, I think 1956, '57, before giving it to me. For contributing to this list, Keith and I are indebted to Dean Adams, Fritz Anderson, Greg Anderson, Ken Anderson, Jason Bak, J.D. Baldwin, John Bartol, Scott Barvian, Laurence Bier, John Bonacci, Joel Chan, Crist Clark, John Clear, Brian Conn, Marc Conte, Todd Cooper, Lewis Coury, Richard Dawson, Matt Dittrich, Jef Dodd, Sean Donnelly, David Eccleston, Susan Fanelli, Kevin Fong, Eric Fritzius, bj gleason, Mark Goldberg, Robert Goldsborough, Norm Gregory, Chris Eliot Haroian, Mathew A. Hennessy, Rachel Hill, John Hritz, Ben Jackson, Bill Jones, Doug Krause, Ed Krauss, Lana Krotenko, Bob Kupiec, James Langdell, James LaPlaine, Don Leaman, Jason Lindquist, Gord Locke, Robert Lopez, Lon Lowen, Ian McCuaig, Ken McGlothlen, Bill McGonigle, Alan "Mr. Tucks" McKendree, Leigh Meydrech, Shamim Zvonko Mohamed, Ken Mohnker, "Noel" at microsoft.com, John Oram, Brian Peek, Marshal Perlman, Alan Perry, Tad Perry, Dave Platt, Michael Regoli, Tony Rice, Tom Sakoda, Steve Shauger, Bill Sherman, Jeff Shimbo, Jason Snell, Mike Southworth, Greg Sroka, Jeff Stephan, Ben Sterling, Christopher Taylor, David C. Tuttle, Wendy Tyrol, Rich Urena, Tim Veatch, Jeff Wilder, Mike Wittman, Eric "Beermaker" Witmayer, Eric Wood, and the illustrious yet enigmatical Mr. Donz5. Primary Print Sources. "Is This Man the New Johnny Carson?", _Chicago Tribune,_ 1/6/80. _Playboy_ magazine interviews, 1984 and 1994. _The Late Shift_ by Bill Carter, 1994. _The David Letterman Story_ by Caroline Latham, 1987. "Stay Up Late" by James Kaplan, _The New Yorker,_ 1/16/89. "Flying Feet & Fingers," by Peter Gambaccini, _Runner's World,_ 3/92. This article is Copyright (c) 1994 by Aaron Barnhart. It may be freely redistributed so long as the author's name, and this notice, remain intact. It may be distributed as long as no fee is charged for distribution. If it is made available for downloading on a bulletin board system (BBS) that charges a fee for downloading priv- ileges, it must be in a directory that is available to all BBS users, including those that have not paid. If the BBS does not have any file directories available for all paid and non-paid users, this FAQ must not be made available for download. .o ____~~~~_____~. ..( ).... ( Remember ... )) .ooo. ( . ) / ))' \ ( it ain't ham, unless ) o. { , , } 'o ( ) ( "_" ) ..o' (... it's a BIG ASS HAM .) " .o. " .(. ) ) .---/\___//\----. .(.~~~ ___...) o ." .\ Y |. `. .o -------o. : .\ ^ |. `>. ." ". ; \ /^\ t. e\. >" " ; | /^\ \ " `.. " " : : /^\ | ./ "# B i g # ; h /^\ \./: ! A s s ! ________\ "~~~~...._\/_V__!---------!________________ c,,,...a~~~=~ ` H a m ' "......." (courtesy Tim Veatch) -- Aaron Barnhart letterman@mcs.net